Broken Brain

My brain is broken.

Pieces and shards mashed together.
A different puzzle, an alternate solution.
All held to the same reality.
My brain is broken, and the world doesn’t fit.
The trials by fire,
the reactionary prose.
All settle into the disjointed synapses.
My brain is broken, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Its stuck on repeat, faster and faster it turns.
My mind clicks.
Its frozen solid, still in intent and tenacity.
My brain is broken, but it shines.
Bright with brilliance, and hope.
An iridescent home to my dreams, light from the inside.
My brain is a mosaic, trapping music and myth.
Safely housing all I could be, and no key to be found.
So my brain remains broken.
A rusted lock behind trap doors.
Lost inside it self.
Perfection in utter solitude.
My brain is lost.

On the road.

We will dance on the road.
As the new light touches our skin.
All the ghosts I believed in, are humming a melody.
A quiet tune for exhausted souls.
We are dancing without words.
Forward to the city limits.
Breathless and weary, we are headed home.
Guided by the ghosts I know.
You are beautiful to behold.
Drenched in the dawn.
Dancing through gardens and glass.
So still on the roof where you touch heaven.
I’m dancing on the road.
Slowly on my toes.
Cloaked in night
Humming that tune.

Fly

I’m going to fly like a night bird.
My feet will never touch the ground.
I’m going to cling to nothing but air.
Feeling the gravity slip below my soul.
I’m going to fly.
The wind will hold me higher than what I knew.
Listening to the ghosts in the clouds.
I’ll have no tears as the stars map my way.
I’m going to fly in the night.
Dark and free.
Just the sky, me and the ground.
I’m going to fly.

Please

Please
Fight for the memories of those who stayed.
Call to arms the women of today to stand for our daughters and mothers.
When my bones crumble into the earth,
March with dignity and faith.
Know from above and below we from the past stand with you.
My loves – you’re never alone.
Together hold the victories high.
Shine their glory into the scopes of those tied in the dark.
Fill them with grace and hope.
Dictate the tales of our grandmother’s.
Penned with permanence.
Etched into our father’s spirits.
Cradle your talents with kindness.
Give your soul air and space to fly.
Fill it with life- again and again.
Join with integrity and balance.
An army of souls- stronger than the lost.
An infantry of the undeclared and undecided.
All of who we were and can be.
Broken into the earth and released to heaven.
Fight to come home.
With blessed earnings.
Fight.

That girl

That girl of yours-
So bright and silent.
A beauty effortless in application.
It drenched you in her grace.
Steady in form, the anchor of your hope.
She’s that girl, that girl of yours.
The one that could run, and never be wrong.
The ground that launches you so high, is her essence.
Who she is.
Still and judgement free.
With a million tears at her feet will whisper “you’re okay”
That girl – your tether to reality.
She will hold tight while you fly.
That girl of yours – too good for us that walk the earth.
She’s to strong- stronger in heart than all the forces you’ll never be.
The one to strong to walk away.
That girl of yours.

Alone

I’m to tired.
So exhausted.
These hours make me feel all alone.
In a dark room.
A red blanket, and old pillows.
I’m scared to touch your space.
The side that was yours. 
A fight so strong.
Now we are all alone.
I forget the days
Just to obsess over the missed nights.
Our beige sheets compliment blue walls.
But remind me of the scars on your back.
My weary soul.
Cries to be so strong.
To shine all alone.

The stars.

Trace sensual lines through the sky.
A map of convoluted routes and destinations of identity.
Reign with assumptive authority over shimmering waves of lust.
Reflected honesty illuminates the sun.
With what once was.
Direct me to center of the heavens,
A million miles away from reality.
Mere seconds from connection.
Glittering star light drawn to your gravity.
Stretching to your luminous heart.
A singular event amongst the planets of my dreams.
A path to you. An entrance to the sky above. Buried in the soil below.
Wrap me in sleep.
Hold me with you.
An identity of me.

My Haze

I have all these things, These emotions and needs.

Just THINGS.

I’m out of the beautiful words.

I want to say how the red wine haze makes me ache to see your flesh.

How the loud music hides the sound of my heart beat.

Can I tell you the dim lights make me want to taste you?

If you asked I’d strip to nothing and let you seep into my bones.

They’re stuck in my throat, these words.

Trapped by red wine and dirty jokes.

I want to taste your fingers, a salty mix of you and french fries.

This is so heavy, the need to touch you.

Its settling into my pelvis and sits there, simmering low.

Ready to boil over with just a touch. A hint, a subtle glance.

Or a cheeky quote over wifi.

I’ll blame the red wine, you’ll blame the gin.

My mind will yell about your beauty, and how your smell makes me crumble.

But I’ll give you a call, or text next week.

Maybe.

Will it ever come?

Next bottle of red wine, and glittering scene of strobe lights, and loose morals.

Maybe then, I can say these things.

With flesh shown in honesty I’ll show you my red wine flush.

I’ll trace your judgment with my fingers and tongue.

Releasing into a dark cushion of star light, and poor choices.

These are all the things, just the few things.

These needs and emotions, swallowed and hidden by another shot.

Maybe.

January 16th

Deleted space between breaths

Melted into one another, in blissful sighs.

Realization and syncopated movements,

Exploded into the symphony of whispered words.

A soundtrack to unearthed hills and valleys.

Eye to eye, mouth to mouth

Hip to hip, and arched back,

Savagely intimate in intent.

Carnal, primal, and spiritually freeing.

Deleted space between shaken knees, and new connection.